Saying Goodbye

 
   Saying goodbye can be extremely difficult. There are many things we have to say goodbye to in life. In my case I've had to say goodbye to my grandma, grandpa, Cutie and now my grandparents house. The past year has been far from perfect. It's easy to look at someone's life and think they have it all together, I know I have looked at others social media pages and thought "wow, they have it all, their life is perfect". Most of the time the people who seem "perfect" are often the ones hurting the most. For me, I love to post happy things on social media and YouTube to distract me from the reality of my life.



     Last February I lost Cutie, my 3 pound, adorable chihuahua. Saying goodbye to a fur baby is so hard. I always wanted a chihuahua, I prayed for her everyday for 2 years. When I was 12,  I finally got her for my birthday. Then, at age 22 I lost her. She had a lot of health issues that caused me to become very stressed and anxious. I never gave up on her and spent many sleepless nights taking care of her. She was my whole world, my best friend, my everything. I was distraught for months, still, now thinking of her I cry. Just a few months after that I lost my grandma, Mommom. I always looked up to her, we were so close. She taught me how to bake and how to live life in a more positive way. She was always singing and dancing. I also became her care taker. She lived with us and I helped her with so many things. During that time I became even closer to her. Then, a few months after that my grandpa, Poppop passed. I was extremely close to him, he also suffered from anxiety so I would sit with him, talk to him and calm him down. He always said "you're the only one who understands me" he also told me daily "you're my favorite". I loved him so much, I adored him and the way he treated my grandma. He would always tell her how beautiful she was and spoke so highly of her to anyone who would listen.


  Now, I sit in my grandparents house in Long Beach Island heartbroken once again. We are here for the last couple of weeks before we sell the house. I grew up here, every summer since I was born I have basically lived here. My grandpa built this house in 1961. This house in Beach Haven has been the only home I have consistently had since I was little. Saying goodbye to this house feels like another death and it makes my grandparents death feel even more real. I feel like this is the last piece I have of them. Looking around the house I can see and hear my grandparents everywhere. I look in the kitchen and see my grandma shuffling around making cookies. I look at the sofa and see my grandpa sitting and spying on all the neighbors, but most of all I can feel their love.


  Saying goodbye to people, places and material items is difficult. As my mom and I go through the house we are finding it difficult to get rid of anything. Everything reminds us of them and holds a special memory. However, going through all of this made me realize just how blessed I have been to have such amazing people in my life. One quote that keeps popping into my head is by the lovely Pooh Bear "How Lucky Am I To Have Someone Who Makes Saying Goodbye So Hard". I can't help but smile and feel peace knowing I had such amazing grandparents, puppy and home for SO many years. Most people don't have the relationship I had with my grandparents, they taught me so much and made me so happy. For that I feel so blessed. Having this beautiful beach home for most of my life has been amazing. I have so many wonderful memories here and nothing can ever take those memories away. Even though Cutie was only in my life for 10 years, she brought me SO much joy and happiness. For 10 years I felt so much happiness and for that I am grateful. If you have to say goodbye to someone you love or something you love instead of thinking how much you will miss them/it, think how blessed you were to have them/it in your life for the time you did. Your whole outlook will completely change. It will not take away all the sadness but it will make you feel so much better♡

5 comments

  1. Such a lovely post- stay strong

    Imi xox
    http://imogennrose.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

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  3. This is amazing Emelyne. You are so positive and strong and you're grandparents and cutie seemed so sweet. I know it is hard saying goodbye. Thinking of you. :)

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    1. thank you so much! that means a lot to me:)

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