How To Let Go Of Someone Toxic


About two months ago I was feeling drained from a relationship. I felt as though I never knew what person I was going to be with that day. Would they be sweet and caring? Or would they belittle and bully me? If you have ever been through a similar relationship you know it is DRAINING! (I'm sure most of you are assuming I'm talking about my boyfriend but don't ya worry, it's not him! He is amazing and we couldn't be happier) The relationship I had with this person was very toxic and extremely unhealthy. When it comes to toxic relationships we often feel stuck, I know I did. I didn't know how to get out and I didn't want to hurt their feelings even though they were horrible to me.


One day this person pushed me past my limits and I knew that this was God's way of setting me free. I knew that what they had done to me was wrong and I could no longer pretend that I was okay. It was time to confront them. It wasn't easy, I was shaking, cold and hot all at once. After a night of sleep I woke up the next morning and felt FREE! I knew I would no longer let this person back in my life. I would no longer have to worry about them belittling me and I could finally just be happy. If someone in your life is toxic you need to set yourself free.


Know your worth!!
Don't ever allow someone to belittle you. It's easier said than done but this is so important. If you allow someone to push you around they will think it's okay and continue to do it.

It's not you, it's them
These bullies in our lives are often the most insecure people. I know it may seem hard to believe that someone who is loud and vociferous could be insecure but trust me, they ARE! Ever hear of that quote "confidence is quiet, insecurities are loud"? This quote is spot on. Those who are insecure feel the need to be loud and bring the attention all to themselves. My personality is very timid so when I am around people like this I tend to shut down because it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Put on your big girl (or boy) panties and do it
This is something I personally struggled with. I hate confrontation, I try to avoid it at all costs. As I've gotten older I've realized it's not healthy to keep these feelings inside. It feels so much better to tell the person how you are feeling. If they are anything like the relationship I was dealing with they will most likely deny it.

How I handled it
So you may be wondering how I handled this situation. As I mentioned earlier this person pushed me past my limits, I had given them so many chances. I knew that I was exhausted from the relationship and I needed to be happy and put myself first. I didn't yell, I didn't write a huge text of all their faults, I simply said "I'm not going to allow you to push me around anymore, I am done with this conversation". We often feel like we have to respond to texts or calls but we DON'T. Silence is such a powerful thing. The next time someone tries putting you down simply do not answer.

I strongly urge you to look at each relationship in your life and evaluate whether it's lifting you up or tearing you down. Life is too short for negative relationships and you are worth so much more!!

Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do to get out of it?



12 comments

  1. This is beautiful! Thank you for the suggestion Emelyne!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Emelyne!�� I didn't even know how much I needed this, and I'm very inspired right now. I worry a lot about cutting people out of my life. If you can do it, so can I.����

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That makes me so happy to hear! You can do it! you will feel so much better once you do:)

      Delete
  3. I didnt realuze you had a blog? I recently had to step away from my family. Due to them being so toxic!! It was the hardest thing i ever had to do but I am at such a peaceful and happy place now. Not worth having negativity in my life! I can love from a distance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I haven't had time to post much on here but I'm working on posting once a week hopefully:) I'm sorry you had to step away from your family. That is such a brave thing to do. I'm glad you are finally at peace! That is so important.

      Delete
  4. I have been experience this lately. I have been trying to do the same thing, but it’s very hard. Thank you for the extra boost of confidence! You are amazing Emelyne! I’ve been worried about how people would see me if I cut them out of my life, but you are so kind and sweet that if you can do it, so can I!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! You can do it! Don't worry about what they think, you need to focus on yourself. I know it's hard to do but once you do it you will feel free and at peace. You deserve that!

      Delete
  5. I had to do this years ago. It was hard cuz we had been friends for 15 years. The relationship became real toxic. It was so hard cuz she was so so mean when i confronted her. I walked away and it hurt but felt good as time went on. Thankfully, years later we actually reunited and became friends again. Whats good now is i have more confidence from it and if there ever is a relapse or someone else becomes toxic, i wont be afraid to talk with them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is amazing, I think situations like this help us to become stronger and you are the perfect example of that!

      Delete
  6. i went through same situation too. thank you, em! ☺

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I like the fact that you used what happened to you as a way to teach other people how to deal with the same sort of thing.

    ReplyDelete